The Red Mist - like anyone actually cares…

I came across this topic on another blog - I don’t remember which one. I’m not a big fan of lists, but as this one prompted some personal memories that may fade with time, I’m putting it here for my benefit as much as the reader’s…

1. Who was your first date?

A girl called Judy, who was a little older than me. She had long dark hair, which was the original attraction. I must have made a huge impression - she left for Canada 6 weeks after our first date.

2. Who was your first roommate(s)?

In terms of a fixed sharing arrangement, that was when I moved in with Eluned, who was to become my wife - and still is, 25 years on.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink the first time you got drunk?

Cider - in the public park in Widnes, after I had finished my GCE ‘O’ level exams. That was in 1968, I think, when I was 15. As I lived an 8-mile bus ride away, it was some sort of miracle that I got home at all, being totally hammered. When I got there, I threw up in a luckily non-sieve-like waste paper basket, and headed for bed. My older sister knew the score, but my dear mother swallowed the story that I was just ill. I don’t think she ever twigged.

Alcoholic self-destruction is not my thing now; I think I just grew out of it. A few beers or glasses of red wine (Rioja, please) is as much as I want. I can’t stand the taste of cider now. Drunkenness is actually unpleasant for me, quite apart from its after-effects, so I avoid it as much as possible. Today’s binge-drinking culture is very sad, and hope that it will somehow pass. I’m not confident.

4. What was your first job?

Pumping petrol at a local garage on Saturday afternoons. Nobody serves petrol for other people anymore. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hmmmm….

5. What was your first car?

A Morris 1100, the model up in the range from the original mini. A rot-box by today’s standards, but then most cars of that era were. Cars are much better engineered now. I completely wrecked it on its sixth birthday by wrapping it around a lamp post and a wall, then overturning it. I was incredibly lucky - it was in the days before wearing a seat belt was compulsory, and I wasn’t; I walked away without a scratch. My passenger wasn’t so lucky - he got a scratch.

6. When did you go to your first funeral?

That was my aunt’s - she was my favourite aunty, and died very unexpectedly. I was in my 20’s, which I guess is quite old for a first funeral, but nobody’s in a hurry, are they?

(I have a dread of laughing inappropriately and uncontrollably at any solemn occasion - a nervous reaction, of sorts, I suppose. The fear grips me every time. One day, I guess I’ll do it and will be completely ashamed of myself. I hope that everybody at my funeral has a bloody good laugh.)

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?

I was born in Liverpool, and lived happily there until I was 37, when we moved to Wales. I have no regrets about moving to Llanfairfechan, though I still love Liverpool, and would happily return there if the need arose. Llanfairfechan’s a brilliant place to live, with a really strong sense of community, which cities somehow lack in their hugeness.

8. Who was your first teacher?

Miss Walters. She seemed so old to me then, although she was probably only in her forties. She was a lovely teacher - just right for helping young children cope with being launched into school, especially as I hadn’t been to any kind of nursery school. If I’m right about her age, she’s comfortably in her eighties now, and it would be nice to think that she’s still alive and well.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an aeroplane?

Again, relatively late in life by today’s standards - aged about 26 - to Paris with some mates, Alan and Bill. It was a brilliant holiday, staying at a hotel in the Pigalle, one of the most, erm, colourful parts of Paris. It was quite an eye-opener…

10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

I can’t ever remember doing this, although I do remember one of my friends running away from home aged about six. I went to his house, to be told of his leaving by his strangely unperturbed mum - I knew where he’d be, so I went to fetch him and sure enough, there he was with a small bag containing his favourite comics.

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?

That was David - the escapee in 10. above. No - we sort of lost touch when we both went to different secondary schools at 11. We did see each other, but it was never really the same, somehow. We lost touch altogether at 18, when he went to university, and I didn’t.

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house?

It was aged 25, into a decrepit flat in a Victorian house in Bentley Road, Toxteth, a tough district on the outskirts of Liverpool’s city centre.

It was actually a squat when I moved in - the landlord had disappeared some years before, and just never turned up to collect the rent. The flats changed hands by friend passing on the keys. About a month after I moved in, he turned up again (naturally), so the bohemian life evaporated. The squatters took great care of the flats, though - more care than the landlord, as it happens - contrary to the usual image of squatters. It was a great area to live in for relatively affluent people like me, and I stayed there for about 3 years, up to the point when I moved in with Eluned. (See 2. above). Perhaps it wasn’t such a great place to live for a single mother with no job, though…

13. Who’s the first person you call when you have a bad day?

Eluned. No question.

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid/best man?

My friend Roy, from secondary school. We were about 28, I think. It was much more responsibility that I was expecting, and there were several problems needing to be sorted out. Not least of which was driving the happy couple across the Kent countryside after the reception, because Roy’s car had blown up on the way to the wedding. The marriage didn’t last, sadly.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Apart from inwardly complaining about having to get up and face another tedious day at work, it’s usually showering. (Roll on retirement - only 88 pay-days to go, and counting!)

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?

I wish I could remember… I’ve been to so many, starting in my late teens. Seeing great music being played live is one of my favourite pastimes, and I go to as many concerts as I can. This is quite an effort living in North Wales - we don’t get included on that many tours. The last one was Chris Rea’s farewell tour gig in Manchester a few weeks ago. The next is Gomez in Liverpool, in June.

17. First tattoo or piercing?

I’ve never had either, and I’m not going to start now. I don’t see the point, frankly. I don’t use cosmetics, either, beyond soap and shampoo. “Because I’m not worth it”

18. First celebrity crush?

That’s a tough one. Looby Loo in the children’s TV programme “Andy Pandy”. Well, I was only four, for chrissakes!

19. Age of first kiss?

14, I think. It wasn’t a particularly good attempt, as I remember, but practice makes perfect!

20. First crush?

This is a tricky one, because she’s on Friends Reunited; it is far too easy to join up the dots, and she never knew that I worshipped her from afar. Suffice to say that her name was Susan. I haven’t seen her since I left school, and it would be interesting to know whether she would still set my pulse racing now. I’d like to think that she would…

21. First time you did drugs?

Never have. I mixed with a bunch of people who were obsessed with marijuana when I was in my early twenties, and quite frankly it bored the arse off me. (I’m actually in favour of legalising soft drugs, but that’s the subject of a posting of its own - another day, perhaps.)