The Red Mist - like anyone actually cares…

Just wait ’til the third laugher, and if you aren’t laughing yourself by then, then you’re a better man than I, Gunga Din…

University should be the most fun time of your life, and for Gddik Jr. it quite possibly has been, between personal and family episodes that would throw most people off the track, that is.

At the end of his first semester, he fought and beat leukaemia (hell of a Christmas present). He returned the following year to repeat his first year, and although he struggled due to the effects of his illness and treatment, he got through it really well.

On the day before his birthday in October 2006, though, just after he went back for his second year, his grandfather - my Dad - died, only to be followed by our faithful little Westie friend of 12 years succumbing to cancer on the day before New Year’s Eve. Two of his best mates gone in 3 months.

The end of his second year was in sight when, at the end of May 2007, his Mum was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, and we lost her at the end of August. Still, he soldiered on into his final year.

He has had a much more stable year, thankfully - God knows he deserved one. His health continues to improve, and he has settled into what looks like a stable relationship with a lovely girl, K. But, to top it all, he has just had the result of his finals and the lad, against all these odds, got a 2:1.

To overcome everything he’s had to endure to achieve a result like that is just beyond any expectations that I tried really hard not to have. Not only that, but he’s come out of it all a really strong, balanced and mature individual.  And a nice guy, too.

I can’t begin to say how proud of him I am. His Mum would have been so proud too. It’s a damned shame that she won’t be at his graduation ceremony on 9th. July. It’ll be hard to hold back a few tears, I think, but I know there’ll be not one parent in the audience that’s prouder than I am.

“We’ve all had to drive the porcelain bus** at some stage”.

This is attributed to Kevin Rudd, right, the (relatively) new Prime Minister of Australia.

The full story can be found on the BBC web site’s World News section, and makes reassuring reading, for Aussies at least. If only more of our leaders were this human, they might actually be worth voting for. Our bunch of holier-than-thou, do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do hypocrite wasters would do well to learn from this guy. What do we get by way of an “alternative” politician?

Boris Johnson, that’s what. It’s enough to make you want to emigrate.

** “Driving the porcelain bus” is apparently Antipodean for clutching the toilet bowl and vomiting, and he uttered it in relation to an attack of the technicolour yawns that he suffered recently after eating a faulty pie.

Ever since the early 70’s hey-day of prog rock, I’ve been a huge fan of the ex-Focus guitarist, Jan Akkerman. I got to see him in Manchester last year, for the first time since about 1974, and was knocked out by how good he really is. I may even have eulogised on here about it at the time, and the live CD of that tour has since become a firm favourite, played regularly.

I jumped at the chance to see him again last week at the Pacific Arts Centre in Birkenhead, and I wasn’t disappointed - another excellent show, made better by the support act, a 19 year old called Gareth Pearson, who played amazingly good acoustic guitar, and very confidently. Check out his web site and samples of his music. He’s playing at Telford’s Warehouse in Chester on 27 May, so I may well try and get along there and see him again.

However, I only discovered the following day that Mr. Akkerman was playing at Alexander’s Jazz Club (nice!!!) in Chester on Sunday evening (14th.) Well, I wasn’t going to pass up another opportunity, so I hastily organised a raiding party, and duly witnessed an even better show than the Birkenhead one. I bought the double DVD & CD set that was being sold at the gig, and was lucky enough to get it autographed and to have a chat with the man himself. Perfect evening.

If you’re a fan of guitar music, I swear you’d love Jan Akkerman - have a look at his web site and listen to the background track - it’s from the 2007 Tour CD, and the whole of the album is THAT good…

T’other day, as I wandered my estate, I happened upon what looked remarkably like a fish (see picture for evidence) parked somewhat incongruously in the middle of my lawn.

Now, I’m not the brightest of chaps, but it did seem to me that this wasn’t a fish’s most natural environment. I think this may have occurred to the fish, too, possibly a tad too late, as it was a bit dead. This being the case, my mind turned to how in God’s name did it get there?

Several unlikely possibilities spring to mind…

1) There had been an overnight flash flood, and the poor little sod got stranded. No sign of a watermark around the buildings, though…

2) It was the first result of a subsequently abandoned plague of fish. Perhaps God remembered how badly the plagues of locusts etc. had gone previously, and thought better of it at the last moment?

3) A passing Osprey had carelessly dropped it, and was too embarrassed to come down and pick it up, in case anyone saw it. Ospreys aren’t too thick on the ground in these parts, though.

4) Adventurous fish had tried the evolution thing, and left the stream that runs about 20 metres away from the end of my garden. Realised, too late, that he’d over-reached himself, and couldn’t make it back again. Could be a criminal fish - doesn’t look too trustworthy to me - on the run…

5) One of the cats from next door, Charlie or Oscar, had been on a fishing trip to the ornamental fish pond a couple of doors away, and suddenly became disenchanted with the idea of a fish supper, and left it as a present for me. Nice thought, lads, but really - you shouldn’t have.

I’m inclined to think that #5 is the most likely, but it would be a more interesting world if #1-4 were possibilities…

(The leaf is an intriguing accessory, don’t you think? Modesty, perhaps?)

Losing one’s life-partner does strange things to one. It makes you question everything about what you do, and how “OK” it is in relation to what your former life-partner would think - whether they’d approve. Within that general mindset, then, around Christmas I had a good hard think about my own future, and what I could salvage from my loss, in terms of some sort of future happiness.

Being permanently on my own didn’t really figure that high on the agenda, so I decided that, rather than just drawing the curtains, locking the doors and shutting the rest of the world out, I would take the plunge and get back to living again, sooner rather than later. But, never having being the most forward of chaps in the women-meeting stakes, even as a young man, and being no oil-painting, I thought I’d harness the power of the internet to try and ensnare a suitable lady. So I overcame the feelings of (extreme) reluctance and doubt, and signed up with one of the biggest of the online dating agencies.

And am I glad that I did…

After a couple of nerve-wracking meetings (it’s about 28 years since I “did” dating, so it was VERY scary!), which were very pleasant, but obviously not going anywhere, I have had the great good fortune to meet someone who feels completely “right”. And I can’t believe my luck - that it’s happened at all, let alone this quickly.

I don’t want to say any more just yet, because it’s very early days, but I do feel very positive about it all and I think (hope) that it’s the same for her, too. Time will tell, of course, but it’s fun finding out.

Wish us luck…

I’ve seen everything now… (or in this case, I haven’t seen everything).

I just can’t think of a rational reason for this video, unless the sheer ludicrousness of pro wrestling has now finally sunk in with everyone EXCEPT the guy in this video, and he couldn’t get anyone to “fight”, so he just went solo. The truly incredible bit is - the idiot LOST.

It would have to be Japanese, wouldn’t it? Loonies, all of them.

Rip-off Britain - Not a new allegation, I know, but the ante seems to be being upped again just now, very subtly.

The social scene in most towns these days seems to be pretty vibrant. Even on a mid-week evening in the middle of winter, pubs and bars seem to be doing a roaring trade.

If I go to any of these dens of iniquity, other than in my home village, I have to drive, and so I drink non-alcoholic beverages, usually diet coke or similar health-bestowing elixirs. Most of them half fill the glass with ice before the drink goes in, so you end up getting about a thimble-full of the drink you’ve ordered, for which you are then charged a king’s ransom - over £2 isn’t uncommon. I try to remember to ask for no ice, but sometimes I forget…

Value for money? Not in my book.

I’ve just bought a new DVD rewriter for my PC to replace the one that I stupidly wrecked last week (don’t ask…). The drive itself was cheap enough, but, predictably perhaps, it didn’t work. It seems I need an 80-pin IDE cable to replace the old 40-pin job that I have now. Onto the web go I, and locate a suitable cable - a bargain at only 80-odd pence each. “I’ll go nuts, and buy two, so that I can improve my hard-discs’ performance too”, I think to myself. They’re cheap enough. I place the order, only to discover that I’ve been charged £11.69 - yes, £11.69 - for delivery. Not “same-day, gift-wrapped in gold-leaf, by Keira Knightly in person” delivery. No, it’s the “2-5 working days, second-class post, in-a-standard-Jiffy-bag-if-I’m-lucky” delivery.

Cunningly, their delivery charges aren’t detailed in the shopping cart bit of the order process. You only find that out after the order is placed. They’re taking the mickey; their order-confirming e-mail concludes with “Thanks again for your order. Please visit us again.” I don’t think so…

I do like a good film every now and again. It’s even better, somehow, if I have some good old-fashioned popcorn to accompany the flick. Not at today’s prices, though. It won’t be long before the comestibles counter at the average cinema has a financial advisor offering mortgage facilities to potential buyers. They’ll have specially-small tubs of popcorn for first-time buyers, too.

They usually have the nerve to display a sign declaring that it’s against house rules to take your own food and drinks in. Stuff that - if they’re going to try and rob me, I have very little guilt about taking my own stuff in. (I’m a rebel, me.)

Haven’t they twigged that if they charged reasonable prices for the same stuff that you can get in the nearest Tesco, people might actually just buy it without smuggling it in?

These are just a few examples, of course, but the list goes on and on. We really do get taken for mugs in this country.

Ok - it’s winter, unless you live in the southern hemisphere of course, so it’s COLD, right? So you’d like to see some other frozen people, right? (Indulge me on this one…)

OK - so have a look at this then:

Weird or what? (But very well done.)

I love rock music, me, but I can’t help but have noticed that, although it’s pretty universal, it lends itself much better to describing the geography of America than it does just about anywhere else, and certainly the UK.

“I get my kicks on the A1(M)” just doesn’t sound the same, somehow, does it? “I was only 24 hours from Preston” - nope. But we’re pretty good at the medium, so there must be songs that paint pictures of places in this country, but that don’t sound, well, stupid.

Just off the top of my head, I can think of a few - can you add any?

1. Victoria - The Kinks
2. Waterloo Sunset - also The Kinks
3. Ferry Cross The Mersey - Gerry and The Pacemakers
4. Guns Of Brixton - The Clash
5. Billericay Dickie - Ian Dury and The Blockheads
6. Glistening Glyndebourne - John Martyn
7. Streets Of London - Ralph McTell

There must be loads more, of course - can you add any to the list?