Fifty Shades Of Graham Grumpy Old Man New concerns over food and drink

New concerns over food and drink

Scientists are conducting research into the components of many soft drinks and snack foods amid concerns that they cause loss of muscle function and may also affect behavioural brain functions.

Supporting evidence can be found in our streets, parks and other open spaces, where consumers of soft drinks, canned alcoholic drinks and convenience foods have clearly been unable to summon the strength to transport the food wrapper and drinks containers even extremely short distances to the nearest bin, whereas they had no apprent difficulty in carrying them from the shop to that point, prior to consumption. It appears that the effects on muscle and brain function occur immediately after consumption.

There is major concern that such damage can become permanent if left unchecked by parents during a child’s formative years. Indeed, it is often observed that the sufferer is unaware of their behaviour, or even apathetic as to the negative social and environmental consequences of their actions, and can often become aggressive or abusive if it is pointed out to them.

There doesn’t seem to be a cure on the horizon at the moment, but suggestions that such food and drink should be banned are sure to be met with stiff opposition.